Self Portraits

it's as
Santa's Christmas

I was blessed with
two boys.
When they were just at that
right age,
I bought a Santa suit and
wore it every year until one
year the boys said,
"Dad ... We know your
not Santa."
Now I'll have to wait till
I have grandchildren.
I was very depressed
when I made this one.
Horror is something that
each of us depict differently.  
The idea of dying without settling
up in life, with my ill deeds, rings
home the issue that Hell may
become my place of residence
when all is said and done.  

It's more than a terrible thought,
it's what nightmares are made of.
I decided it appropriate to cast myself as a Turkey?

Don't ask me ...

Sometimes I feel like a nut!

Obviously here I did.

That's the image you see above.
I can't tell you how
many times I found
myself feeling just
like this ... How I'd love
to get my hands around
the neck of dots and
dashes of this computer.

I just love technology.

Placed on this page
on February 16th, 2006.
A very useful word when it comes to my art and even my life.
I feel this depicts my state of mind.
Which way do I go, which side of the cube shall I satisfy this
day.   Sometimes, I get depressed and struggle to keep my head
together.    Sometimes, especially in the early hours of the day,
I'm bundled in energy.    What ever I do, it's all me.
Fish and fish keeping, go back a long way.
Thirty odd years or more.
At one point, I had more than ten fish tanks
set up, with varieties stemming from salt,
to brackish, to fresh water varieties.   
Sometimes I'd sit in from of the aquarium
and stare at the fish for hours on end.   
I'm sure from their point of view,
I looked just like this.
Created 12/27/04
I think it was appropriate that I should create this piece,
on Friday the 13th, 2006.
My mood was dark and mysterious.   
My mood was very personal and to me ... Profound.
I feel that I have captured a side of myself
that always been their and I have never denied.
It's a lonely side to my art.
Things I feel when I'm all to myself and the lights are lower
than others might call ... "Normal.".
It's times when I  have no one to share things with.  
It's a somber side of myself.  
Intense with colors and shapes, a place I can call my own.
Created 1/13/05
I've been suffering from these horrid dreams
for to many years.   
Dreams where I wake up with pounding fists
crashing down upon my father's head.   
He was a man who knew no logic when it came to anger
and almost delighted in pushing the other persons
buttons until some sort of physical battle came forth.  
My wife decided that a rolled up comforter between us
was a good idea.  She's afraid that I'll wake her
with fists pounding upon her body.   
With therapy and time I hope to resolve these dreams.

Now it's years later and I sleep alone in my bed.
I always loved my guitars.
Loved to play them. Loved to collect at them.
Loved to look them.

I always loved my amps.
Loved to play through them.     Loved to collect them.
Loved to look at them.

I always loved my hats.
Loved to wear at them.      Loved to collect them.
Loved to look at them.
I just love it.
Created 3/04/05
Here's where I live
a big chunk of my life.

Sometimes writing.
Sometimes making music.
Sometimes crying.
Sometimes laughing.  

But always ... I am me.
Created 3/20/05
I love this side of me.
I'm bright, witty, and it's where I love to be.
Each of us live with multiple sides to ourselves,
but admitting it, is the difficult part.
Some of us call it just being silly.

Me, I come alive when I write.

It's where I'm most comfortable.

It's where I love to be.
back to homepage
Page revised January 22, 2012
College was an age of discovery for
me. I fo
und that there was a word
for the t
hings that I loved to do.
     And that word was "art".  It
          was a word I learned to
                respect and to
          hold in high regard.                                         Art, I'm
sure it will follow                                    me till
the end of my
I always loved the idea
of being an alien from another
world, jetting around in my way
cool flying saucer.  
The Metaluna Mutant was my
favorite alien ... Ever.
This blue big headed brain guy
was a creature from the
old SciFi classic,
"This Island Earth".
Think I look pretty cool
in my red sun glasses,
as the alien big head.
A blues smoke.
Some of us take to depression
harder than others.
Some of us don't notice it at all.
It was at this point of my life,
some eight years ago, when
chain smoking just felt
necessary.  I was out of work
and overwhelmed with the
drudgery of everyday existence
of the job hunt.  The whole
ordeal was merciless.
Created 2/25/05
These pictures in the background.  It's a shot of me while
observing one of the paintings I did while in college, 1974.
Just a few years back ... Right!
Hey everyone ... That's me with long hair ... 1970.